Michelin Men

If there is one thing in this world that I cannot stand, 

It's people wearing clothing that does not fit.

I don't mind so much clothing that is a couple sizes too big 

(c'mon, I live in over-sized clothing),

It's seeing girls in clothing that is too small that just breaks my fucking heart. 

Don't get me wrong, big is beautiful.
But, it is not beautiful when you look like a stack of tires.

If you are not a size two, then do not try to squeeze yourself into a size two.

Trust me, you are not hiding it from anyone.

And to all the small girls,
You are still fashion sinning by wearing sizes beneath your own.
When your lady bits are falling out of your ensemble, 

people will probably assume you are a skank.

Stay classy, friends.

You are never too broke to buy clothes that fit you.
And they look a whole lot better on!

Plus, it's a whole lot more comfortable to wear clothes that let you breathe.

So, please, my lovely little bitches, dress yourself properly.
And make sure your friends (and enemies) do the same.

Together we can put and end to this awful, awful sight. 

Forever Yours,

Samantha